‘I can’t even talk to her. What should I tell her? Will she understand? I don’t even know if I understand it myself.’ these thoughts had been haunting Shurti for a week now.

Mayank and she had been had been together for 2 years now.Just until few months ago,since his promotion as BDM for Asia pacific region, he had been living out of his suitcase.

The little time that he did get, he caught up on lost sleep, and the rest he spent lazing around in the house. Shruti took it as a positive change initially, but with days rapidly changing in to weeks, she just wasn’t sure about it anymore!

They had got engaged 6 months ago, just before his promotion.

This sudden change in her life had her craving for attention, the attention that she was soo used since she had met Mayank. She knew he still loved her, but his continuous absence from her daily life was taking a toll on her mind.

She meets him.

With Mayank not able to give her attention for over months together now, had made her vulnerable to attention, and love .The chanced acquaintance with this someone at work, kept her soo happy that she started looking forward to each day at work, just so that she could talk to him.

Their first introduction, wasn’t the one that started it. It was the tea breaks and constant chatting that started the confusion. The more she spent time with him, the more she enjoyed herself.

What she initially thought was mere a way to keep her busy was suddenly turning into a habit. She just couldn’t stop chatting, talking and meeting him.

She was aware that something was changing, but she kept convincing herself this is no matter to be worried upon, after all I am engaged to be married to Mayank.

Inevitable happened.

Then, one day, she saw him with a pretty girl from work ,suddenly her mood changed. she didn’t feel good. she wasn’t sure why? That day she refused to talk to him ( He kept pinging her, calling her, but she kept giving excuses!).

She refused to talk to him, not because he was with someone else, but because she had come to realize that may be she was falling for him ‘Why else would I feel jealous?’ she questioned herself.

She needed to clear her head of all these emotions! there was absolutely no room for them. She was happy with Mayank, everyone she knew admired them as a couple. Her parents, relative, extended family everyone adored him. She wouldn’t throw away years of love, just for some sort of infatuation whatever it is she thought.

‘It’s just in my mind!. I can’t be falling for anyone. No way!” she kept repeating this to herself, to convince her self that she just couldn’t have feelings for anyone but the love of her life.

Next day, when he came around to her desk to check on her, she was cloud no 9. ‘He cares for me!’ and putting aside her doubts, she was more than happy to spend her time with him.

Over the weeks, as she kept getting closer to him, she suddenly felt the need to look great, to dress up. This drama continued for good 3 months, and then one day her best friend Shikha said

” What’s up with you and this guy? Off late, you always end up talking about him! Do you have some sorta crush on him?”

“Don’t be stupid!” defensive, she felt like Shikha was reading her mind.

“Well all I am saying is , you are already engaged to boy of your dreams.you dont want to mess it!” questioning her again

“you gotta to be serious! Come on, he knows I am engaged, we are just friends, who enjoy each others company”.

That day she just escaped from being confronted with the truth. ‘Truth’ I am not sure what truth am I trying to hide here. she just wasn’t sure of her feeling towards her new friend, she enjoyed his company , but she also missed Mayank.

She loved spending time with him, but when Mayank called, she was elated. She was happy with both of them.

Current day

‘I can’t even talk to her. What should I tell her? Will she understand? I don’t even know if I understand it myself.‘

The other day when he couldn’t make it to office, she was miserable and couldn’t concentrate on her work. That’s when it hit her! She had fallen for him!

She felt the need to talk to Shakshi, she had to clear her head of this idea, she couldn’t get involved with someone she had just met couple of months ago, and throw away her relationship with Mayank.

“Hi, we need to talk. Can you meet at CCD at 5?”

“Ok, I was expecting this , I will be there” Shakshi and Shruti had been friends for 10 years now there was nothing that Shruti could hide from her.

Shakshi had guessed it the other day itself. She knew that it would only few weeks before Shruti realized it her self.

At CCD
“Girl, I think I am attracted to him!” almost to tears, she was looking down. She couldn’t get herself to look in eyes of her best friend

“Ok, So it’s just an attraction. Why are you worried, just try cutting out on your talking” simple and easy.
Shakshi continued “What about him? Do you think he likes u too?”

“I dont have a clue” Surprised at the question, she had never thought of it before

“Look, you have Mayank, you are just seeking attention and probably are attracted coz u are getting it! But, what about him? What if he starts liking u too worse already does?”

“Oh no, I dont think so! he knows about me and Mayank!” Could it be true? Could he like me too?

“So what? That didn’t stop u from liking him, why will that stop him from the same!”
“What are you getting at?” her friend had made a point!

“just that, you have to stop spending time with him. you still have someone to turn and go back to, but what about him? you will end up hurting him in the bargain. he may have not yet realized, but by the time , he does, it may just be too late for him to stop himself from falling in love with you”

Her friend was right! She was just leading someone else to a place, where he would end up all hurt, but again, she wasn’t even sure if he felt the same way she did, she wasn’t sure of her emotions anymore. Everything was suddenly fuzzy, her peaceful life was no longer peaceful.

when she spent time with Mayank (Whenever she got his time) she never missed this guy, when she was at work, she didn’t even miss Mayank!

She was at crossroads. her emotions were in conflict with each other.

She had to figure out all this for sure. She couldn’t do this to herself and two people involved in it with her. In the end, at least one or worse all three of us would end up hurt, all because I am not sure?

She decided to take a day off from both him and Mayank, she needed time to herself, space to think , her heart could belong to just one.

At the end of the day, she had come to an decision. She was happy with herself .She followed her heart.

What do you think she did?